10 Tips To Solving The World’s Laundry Troubles!!

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I hate having to do my laundry. What I hate the most is folding but… well.

Before marriage, I never had to do the job. When we first got married, I actually had to read the owner’s manual to my washer to understand how it worked. It was love at first sight, that washer… because I loved that it had a different tune to each of its functions and the fact that there was only me and Z, meant we hardly ever had to use it. Also, my washer inspired me to exercise and keep fit. Another story for another day, that is.

When D, my first born, came around… we had a laundry explosion with him throwing up all the time. I still loved my washer because I could throw in whatever I wanted. His toys, his car-seat cover, rocker cover, stroller seat or whatever and it came out looking and smelling clean. We had a super throw-up-baby. There were some evenings, when I came home wishing that I could just throw myself in the washer to be saved from trying to wiggle out of the vomited upon clothes. Then… we had more children.

Now four kids later, I give up. Laundry is a never ending process. Sort, wash, dry, fold, put away… repeat. I have a couch in my room that I call the Mt. ForEverest. I also have to sort my kids wardrobes every month. Bad. Very bad.

So now, as I stared at my laundry while my baby tried to go to sleep tonight, here are ten things I wish for that could save the world from having to sort, wash, dry, fold, repeat their laundry:

 1. We need more machines.

We need a Sorter and a Folder along with the already available Washer and Dryer. What would a Sorter be? It would be something that will sort your clothes based on colour. It would of course be computerised and able to differentiate white, dark and reds. I really think it is a simple thing and I am really surprised nobody has come up with it already. Can some Techno-Mom out their make it please? What about the Folder? It will be two robotic arms (or even one can do the job) with something like an ironing board and a flipper. Pick, swirl in air and land on the ironing board such that the arms of the shirt or the leaves of the pants fold over. Then the flipper would scoop half of it over and the item would slip off to the floor. Ta-da! Ingenious, I know.



2. We should be wearing disposable clothes.

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Paper? Yes. A little research would need to be done to make it comfortable and cheaper but it can be done. It will be biodegradable, healthier for your skin and recyclable too. What about Rain and winter, you ask? Polypropylene, seems like a good idea. I mean I know it is plastic but it is light weight, degradable, recyclable, UV resistant to an extent, easier to clean and best of all it is food grade so definitely safe for us. Definitely environment safe too. What’s more interesting is that the clothes will be much lighter compared to our clothes. All the fun to go jogging or hiking in! They are already experimenting with water resistant and finer product called GeoTex. I see a future there!

 3. Why can’t I just throw off everything every week and buy new one?

 Really, even rent clothes. That would of course mean that we will need all the major brands to change the way they sell. We’d never have anything out-dated and out of fashion too. Just rent, wear, exchange, wear again, repeat. Of course if combined with tip#2… awesome! They can recycle clothes too! We will be such a fashion conscious world!

 4. If all things fail, wear denim! Jeans never get dirty.

 5. State Funded Laundry.

If the Government really cared for the common man, they can do this. I don’t mind a little extra tax but this is so do-able. We would need a Town Laundry Service. (Just like they have postal service, you know?) Every town will have an area-wise service complete with a laundry pick up service and laundry bins. Every house will be assigned a L.B No. ( Laundry Box Number). To make sure they aren’t working around the clock, they will have a day assigned for every block. They pick up your dirty clothes, get it clean and return it. You will only have to make sure that you remember to place your bag in the bin every week. Is that an idea or what?!

 6. We outsource to China.

How? It will take too long, you say? I am not Chinese but I know the Chinese can solve this problem. Or.. we can get the problem solved in India and then send the laundry to China.

 7. We ship it off to be dumped in the Indian ocean.

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 8. Alternatively, we could shoot it to outer space!

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Every month a rocket could take our laundry to Uranus. Why Uranus? Because it has more space and if in case something in the future goes wrong (Global Warming, Laundry Overload, etc) we can be sure it will not rain ‘dirty clothes’ on us.

 9. We could have Clean Laundry Sprays!

Like what I said in #4 but only better. We could have something that will not cause allergy or fade clothes but it will successfully dissolve stains, renew colours and starch them too. Anything that cannot be washed like stickiness and gooey-ness for example, will just fall off. With Biotechnology making such advancements, I am sure they can totally find something that is enzymatic enough.  I am sure they can make a different one for colours, white and reds too.

 10. Walk-in Fresh Services.

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You stand in line on a moving belt with a helmet over your head. The belt takes you  through a wash and dry cycle. I’m sure this will be a hit with kids. You also get a free massage and a bath for free.  Just leave an hour early for your appointment. I am sure if even one smart businessman can come up with this, there will be Walk-in Fresh sprouting up everywhere. Such fun! Whoever would want to go to an amusement park?!

What do you think? Is any of this possible? I should stop dreaming and get my Mt. Foreverest folded… I know. But a bit of positivity… hurt no one!

 
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