How to be an Intentional Mom and Confident Mother
In this post: How to be an intentional mom who looks beyond being “just a mom”.
Dear Mom, do you wish you could be so much more than Just a mom?
“I wish to raise good children. I want to have a good relationship with them. I want to create a family culture, where when my kids look back, they say we were such a happy family! It is not that kids are just obedient, but the fact that they love me and so they are respectful.”
Have you ever said this to yourself?
If you are thinking this, you are not alone.
This blog post is for you. We mothers have great dreams. I remember the first time I became a mother. When the nurse handed me my son, I took one look at him and then the “Imposter syndrome” set in. I remember telling my sister, ‘Do you think he will like me? Do you think I’ll make a good mother?‘
My sister laughed at me and said: Too late! He is already here. You better figure things out as you two grow up!
A few weeks before his birth, my husband had asked me: ‘What are you looking forward to teaching our baby?’
I remember so clearly, I had said: I don’t know what I will teach him, but for sure, he is going to teach me a lot of things!
He did. I am blessed to be called his Mom! But you know what… as that little baby grew up… as he got a little sister, and then another, and then another… with every child, I lost a little of my confidence in me.
I felt I was so many things before marriage and babies. But motherhood made me feel like I was incomplete… incompetent even.
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I felt that becoming a mother meant I couldn’t do so many things. My children were totally dependent on me. I was a trailing wife to an expat worker. I couldn’t pursue my career in this country and I really didn’t like my options of taking up just any job. There were so many things that bugged me.
I am a people’s person who drives her energy from meeting friends and strangers. I absolutely enjoy people. But with little babeis and a husband always at work, I found it difficult to get out.
There were so many things I saw wrong. The things is I was focusing on all the negatives.
What goes wrong when you are trying to be an Intentional Mom
In January 2015, I decided I wanted to go back to studying. My youngest was 2 years old and I felt I could.
Somehow, I thought that my Masters Degree and years of Qualifications working online were insufficient. So, I enrolled myself in an advanced course in Bioinformatics.
My plan was that I can get a certificate which will help me make up for all the years that I have missed work experience. ‘This little training will help me get back on track!’, I thought.
Four days into the course, my in laws came visiting. By the end of the week, I had four families in my house and nine children running about. There was no way I could give my first test that weekend. So I cancelled my enrollment and took my money back.
The result: resentment.
For the next two months, I was in depression. I was either angry or sleepy. I felt I had to do housework all the time and that my kids were always needing me. Deep within, I knew that wasn’t entirely true but my depression was getting the better of me.
My husband was quietly observing my behavior. One night, after the kids were in bed, I asked him what he thought of me returning to work after our youngest started Kindergarten in the Fall.
He laughed and said: I have a course for you. It is free for a limited time and although it isn’t your field of study, I think you should do it.
It was a Brilliant Idea!
The course was on Entrepreneurship. Totally NOT my line but… I ended up doing it anyway.
Of course it was hard! I am not a commerce person and I don’t speak that ‘language’.
I was the only mom among the 20 something year olds who wanted to either change the world or build a well in Kenya. But do you know what it taught me..?
Mothers need a life plan too.
They say that we mothers are CEOs of our homes… may be it was about time we started behaving like one too!
So in March that year, for the first time, I made my Life Plan. I wasn’t sure if I would accomplish my goals or if at all it was necessary… but as I sat to plan the next year year, in December 2015, I was able to tick off almost 90% of that year’s plan.
I was a happier and more confident mother because I took the time to learn to plan out my year.
I didn’t know Life Planning was necessary. I always though business people did it. But my Mom Plan gave me a life goal – a purpose. It helped me see in words what my dreams were and how I would accomplish them. I charted my year into quarters and brainstormed steps I would take to come to that goal.
If you want to be an intentional mom, set a goal for yourself.
The first step is to change your mindset to be more intentional and confident.
I have seen many women who say that they want to do so much more with their lives but they just don’t know where to begin.
Many mothers tell me that they have living conditions that prevent them from taking action in their life.
Mothers with older children say that they have sacrificed their career to take care of their children but now they are not so sure they did the right thing.
Dear mom, I know what you are feeling. I was in that same mindset. I thought it was the people around me, my conditions, my expat life that was holding me back from my dreams.
I was wrong.
Even if the whole world conspired to break you, they will not unless it is the Will of God. God loves you. He has given you that power within you to accomplish anything that you wish. Let’s work on that energy within you.
Fill out the form below. I will email you my Positive Thinking Mindset Printable. Let’s empower you and build your strength to be an intentional mom.
I'd love to help you be the Deliberate, Intentional, Confident Mom that you always wanted to be. Download this FREE printable and get started!
Would you like some help writing your own Life Plan? Click the picture below to get my LIFE PLAN 2020 Workbook.
Want examples of Goal setting, check out these posts below:
Need inspiration to set goals? Enjoy the posts by my friends below.
Welcome to the Monthly Goals Blog Hop! Do you plan your month ahead? Have you anything in particular that your looking forward to this month? Is there anything in your life that needs focus? Kids, family, self… what is your motivation?
This blog hop is to help you make new friends and find a partner to stay accountable to. Every month, a group of us get together to write our monthly goals. This helps us stay connected, accountable as well as inspire other moms to know how we do it all.
This month the participating blogs are:
Jeddah Mom – Confident Parenting | Deliberate Motherhood
Alizeh My Soul-Lets plan and Work for a Productive Living in January
Mommy’s Next Step- January Goals
You have given a new insight for planning life long. In shaa allah will need this one as I am lookimg to live in peace.
I was skeptical at first if it really would work Salma. But looking back after all these months, it really helped me know how to work with family and home.
Obviously charity begins at home . Being a woman we should aim for a positive outcomes in every aspect of Life. Planning is crucial in achieving set goals …
Thanks for sharing.
I love this! I also did an entrepreneur course a few years ago and it completely changed the way I think about things. I can’t wait to download your free planner. Thank You!
This seems like an amazingly helpful tool! Also, it helps to plan and re assess our priorities as we move through life, because those can change too. As expats, I think that is one of the struggles I face. Thanks for sharing your post!
Exactly! As we move through life our priorities change and this chart is perfect to keep track of it too.
“An Intentional Mom” I like that. I’ve been having a crazy time juggling motherhood, personal development and work. Writing my goals and to-do lists definitely help me though.
This is awesome! I do year plans for Homeschooling but not always for myself, I love the idea of behaving like CEOs, Thank you for a motivating article – looking forward to using the free plan!
There is a whole course around it Hafsa. Be sure to join . I am so excited to be doing this this year.
This is fantastic!! 90% is AMAZING!
And I love how there is a tribe!
I hope all of you meet all your goals 🙂
InshaAllah! It’s a great feeling when you see a clear path to take. 🙂
Such beautiful insight mashaAllah. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best.
Reading this has made me realise how unorganised my life is at the moment! Lol I thought I had things on track…. you’re very thorough &I guess it’s the best way to be! Thanks for sharing…. definetly need to get things into check!
This is completely new to me….I have never made goals for parenting…love reading and knowing more on this….thank you for sharing…
I cud find an insight in ur articles….I moved here to riyadh 7m bak …after completing my masters …studying medicine for 10 whole years with mbbs and MD…i feel stuck here after marriage …now I’m expecting the first child and still I miss my dream to pursue the career …I knw its hard to get both things (family and career) in life esp here in Saudi where they wudnt let u in without any experience …after reading ur articles I got lil hope in me to be able to juggle with this life ….
May I know from where you did the entrepreneurship course? Thanks in advance
Philanthropy University, Berkeley-Haas. You’re welcome.