God, Are You Listening?
It looks like I am rediscovering my hobbies all over again. So far I’ve done crochet, a bit of glass painting, a little bit of paper-art, knitting; I’ve made some flowers out of old cloth and I have sewed the curtains and table cloths in my home. Today I completed a sketchwork and have been eyeing my gouaches for the past half an hour wondering if I should have a nap or try painting a still-life.
If I ever die young, let it be known that it will be of boredom.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have a little bit of too much time on my hand. There was once upon a time when 24 hours seemed so less and then I got married and realised that the days got longer, the evenings even longer and the nights, too short. Before I met Z, it was like I had no time and too much to do. Ofcourse, I worked then but … I still had my hobbies. Then Z came along, swept me off my feet and took me on a year long honeymoon. Now that we have finally decided to settle down and he has resumed his job, I feel so lonely and bored throughout the day (and some evenings too when he is not home early). I know that I stll have the option of getting a job or studying further but I doubt if I want to study forever. Afterall, I already have a masters and research, though very inviting, makes me wonder if I can give it that dedication that the job will require. I’ve always been in search of new avenues and I know it is just that I am in the process of discovering a new talent that I haven’t recognised so far but at times I feel left out. I mean, I am not working anymore. I don’t have a 9-5 job or a pay check. I don’t need to earn and although that sounds so good, it sometimes makes me say, “This is not me”. Z and I’ve talked about it and we haven’t decided on anything. May be I just need a child in my life. May be if I became a parent I’d feel more responsible and in control.
God, are you listening?
By Nick Coombs
