‘Parents hardly wait till their children are born before they start worrying.‘
I had heard that but never believed until I woke up this morning to realize that I felt too good. Is that a reason to worry about? In ordinary circumstances, I guess not but now that I am expecting, I seem to be worried about everything that is wrong and sometimes even when things are too right. How come I am not nauseated? Why am I not tired? Why am I feeling so good? My feet don’t hurt and back doesn’t ache, should I be worried? Questions and more questions that I keep asking myself. I know that until I feel my baby move in me, I am not going to be satisfied and even then, chances are I may sit around worrying that it doesn’t move as much as it should or less. Strange as it may seem to many people, I know that there many who have been in the same boat as I am these days and have felt exactly the same way. Does that comfort me to know that it is normal to worry? No, because knowing that makes me worry that I worry too much!
These days, I seem to be having new experiences with children. Other people’s children I mean. We have had friends over a couple of times and there are some who have children. I love children and it was fun having them over but there have been two occasions when I have really wondered what kind of a mother I’d make.
The day before yesterday, we had a couple over for dinner. It is totally different matter though, that they were the ones serving dinner in my house but… as I said, that is a different matter. They have two sons, aged 10 and 11, and a daughter who is 8 months old. The baby girl is a darling and my pet; the younger son is too shy and quiet but the elder one… I am not sure how to describe him after yesterday’s incident. The dinner was the day before and when they left that night, both Z and I were too tired to notice the difference in our bathroom. Yesterday, when I reached for my bath oil, I noticed droplets of water on it and a little while later, I notice again that the oil wasn’t as viscous as it should be. And then I knew the reason why: The bottle was filled with water! I remembered instantly, K ( the elder kid) asking me about the oil my other cosmetics and so my guess is that it was he who had done it. He had emptied the entire bottle and filled it up with water! I am still not sure as to why he found the need to do that but my guess is that since the bottle was new and unused, he must have spilled some and then realized that since it looked like water he could fill it up with it. Oil and water are immiscible and he must have got two layers and in order to prevent the layers, he must have emptied it again and filled it up with water. Smart. Very smart. Anyway, that is not all he did. He used up my shampoo too (????!!!) and there is Ice cream under my bed! I wonder why he didn’t check Z’s stuff. But, Alhamdulillah, nothing major.
There were five of us when we were growing up and I can’t recall even a single occasion when we did something like this in other people’s homes. Okay, so I had a bit of fun in college and at Uni but that was when I was all grown up. We never did stuff when we went visiting. A month ago, we had this other family over and there three children were so difficult, I have sworn that if I ever call them for a meal, it will be at the beach for a beach party. The little ‘custom officers’ as I called them, opened up (read ’emptied’) my cupboard and drawers and pulled out the suitcases. They even checked under the bed to make sure I hadn’t hidden anything there. What was the mother doing all that time? She was telling me how naughty her children were! Not once did she tell them to stop that. I wonder what kind of a mother I will make… I definitely don’t want to be strict and controlling all the time but at the same time, I don’t want my children growing up to be like that. Allah knows best!