I desperately need to update today. The reason being that the blog has been not been updated in quite a few weeks and although I have been writing up, it seems that I just don’t have the mood to share the posts. They just go off into the drafts and remain there. It is interesting, how the always-so-people’s-person me suddenly don’t want anything to do with a lot of people. Blogging was almost an addiction. I just had to write it and it didn’t matter if I posted it or not) or where I posted even), but something had to be written. Even my diary has empty pages these days. I have so much to say and then sometimes, I just don’t want to say it. It is like, it is just not important. May be I just want to enjoy my own words in my head or that I like Z’s smile as hears me out and then I feel that there is nobody else who can hear me out the way he can.
Alhamdulillah, life is slowly returning to the normal. I could make breakfast today and then have enough energy for lunch. So far so good. The aches and pains will be there no doubt, but I guess it works to be positive and optimistic. I have tried for so long to fight my fatigue and regain control over my life and my body that I think I am succeeding. Alhamdulillah.
For those of you, who haven’t been able to read between the lines or who haven’t been informed … Z and I are expecting our first child. Yes, that is the reason why I blog so less and why I don’t answer most of the mails or call you guys up. (You know who you are!) It is just that I have been unable to come online as often as I did.
Did I mention that I have been unable to crochet? Believe it or not, I get nauseated when I look at my crochet threads or needles. It is strange. I mean, crochet isn’t edible then why am I suddenly feeling this way? Anyway, I had remarked once that of all the crochet blogs I had visited and read, I had found that most of the ladies had a lot in common with me. There were many who held advanced degrees in Mathematics and Science and a few who were PhDs. Most of them started to crochet when they got married or were expecting. And they all loved to blog! I guess, now I know that one thing that nobody talked about was suddenly feeling an aversion towards crochet during their pregnancies. It is strange. I had planned on making atleast a cap for the baby but just 8-10 stitches and I felt my head spinning and ever since then even looking at my crochet basket makes me want to throw up. For now, I guess, I’ll leave everything as it is. Now… I only read.