Kindness to Parents- Teaching Children How to be Kind to Their Parents

As part of the Islamic Manners for Children, we studied the word Kind and learnt about Kindness to Parents in Islam. We talked about what it means and ways children can be kind to parents.

As parents we expect to raise children to be kind, respectful and obedient as well as have good manners. But many times, unless we teach our children with our own examples how to be kind, children don’t really know.

I wrote 7 ways mothers can raise happy, kind and confident children by just being themselves in this post. You will notice that it is quite easy to show children how to be kind but we do need to talk about the topic with children.

How to teach children about Kindness in Islam.

For all my manners activities, I have initiated the topic by first creating a conversation point, followed by an activity, some questions and lots of relatable books.

Let’s start one by one.

Please note: the post below was written in Ramadan of 2014. We have updated it to be current and relevant where necessary.

The conversation : What it means to Kind to parents

For today’s activity, I asked the kids to give me all the ways they can be kind. It was fun. I have an 8 year old and 3 year old version!

They said:

• Kind means to help
• Kind means to smile
• Kind means to not get angry
• Kind means making someone happy

That is right. Kind means to be pleasant and helpful but how can one be kind to one’s parents?

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Kindness according to Islam and Kindness to Parents in Islam

In Islam, kindness to parents is given a lot of importance. It is mentioned in the Quran as well as in numerous Hadith…

Kindness to parents mentioned in Hadith

We talked about all the sunnah about kindness to parents first.

• It is reported on the authority of ‘Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah observed: The best of the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.
• Ibn ‘Umar said, “Making parents weep is part of disobedience and one of the major wrong actions.”
• Ibn ‘Umar said, “Allah has called them the ‘dutiful’ (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful (birr) to their parents and children. Just as you have a duty which you owe your parent, so you have a duty which you owe your child.”
• Ibn ‘Abbas said, “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him.” He was asked, “Even if they wrong him?” “Even if they wrong him” he replied.
• Anas narrated from the Apostle (ﷺ) about the major sins. He (the Holy Prophet) observed: Associating anyone with Allah, disobedience to parents, killing a person and false utterance.

Kindness to parents mentioned in the Quran

In the Quran, it is mentioned:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.  And that you be dutiful to your parents.  If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord!  Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’” (Quran 17:23-24)

and again it is said:

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents.  His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”  (Quran 31:14)

What results does being kind to one’s parents bring.

Once my children had read the hadith and ayahs, we talked about what it really looked like to be kind and the result they would notice in themselves.

• When you are kind to your parents it means you will love them, be helpful, respectful and dutiful. To be precise, you will speak kindly, will understand their hardships in raising you and you will try to be more cooperative.
• When a person is speaking nicely to their parents day and night, helping around the house, not getting angry, trying to be respectful and responsible because he understands how hard his parents work, don’t you think it will become his habit to be kind in general.

Yes, it will affect your personality. You will have good manners and morals. 

The Prophet (PBUH) said ‘ I have been sent to perfect your character’.

Islam emphasizes good character and morals as being a part of religion. Therefore, Isn’t it true that being kind to parents means good character?

My eldest, appeared very much affected by our talk. The little toddler was very little but she understood it means to be ‘helpful’. Toddlers and preschoolers feel empowered to be helpful so this was really impactful on her.

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How can children be kind to parents

We had already discussed that being kind to parents and ways to help them in C is for Charity. But, I asked my children how they can be kind to parents again.

They said, they could help us, smile and not get angry…

That is right. But what about respect? How can we show respect to our parents?

It is very important that children understand what all we do for them. Parents naturally assume that their children see them work so they will know. That is not true! Most children don’t know how hard we work to put food on the table or all the things that we provide for them. They don’t even understand that the household work is just cleaning up after them.

It is not about complaining but more about explaining why parents are given such importance in Islam. Talk about ways your children can help you be happy. Just that much will be enough.

Teach your children to make Dua for you

One of theist important thing that you can teach your children is to make dua for you.

My husband lost his mother before our marriage. For as far as I remember him making dua, I always saw him include her in his prayer. From when our children were mere toddlers he made sure to teach our children to say the dua for parents. Every night before bed, he’d lay with one child while I played with the other and he’d recite the duas loudly and they’d repeat.

رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

My Lord, have mercy on them, as they raised me when I was a child. – Holy Quran 17:24

Printable Kindness Poster for Children

We made a list of six things that children can do for their parents and together, I helped make it into a poster.

Do you want to know the three things that help create harmony at home so that children are naturally inclined to love and respect? Fill the form below and I will send it to you!

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Books that teach children about Kindness to Parents in Islam

Please note: Some of the links below are Affiliate links. I make a small commission by referring you to these products. Please read my full disclosure here.

A few years ago, we bought a book Loving Our Parents- Stories of Duties and Obligations by Abdul Malik Mujahid, which has a collection of stories for children. It is by DarrusSalam Publications. If you have children over 8 years old, this is a good read.

This book is available worldwide through DarrusSalam Publications. I have seen it in Jarir (in Saudi Arabia) and it is also available on Amazon. US and UK links below.

As I highly recommend we use authentic Islamic books for teaching about Islam, I recommend this book for teaching kindness to parents in Islam.

For younger children, it doesn’t have to be an islamic book to read. You can find a fun loving book that talks about your love for them too. Two of my favorite books to read to my children are these:

This post is part of the A-Z of Islamic Manners for Children series- a 26 day email series to help you teach your child the manners and moral in Islam.

Positive parenting tip to teach your children to be kind and helpful

I believe that as parents the best way to train for life it to teach kindness through responsibilities.

From the age of 3 years, children can be trained to be helpful to us. At that age children love to help. They like being ‘helpers’. When we give them small responsibilities, they feel empowered and confident and this in turn trains them to be resilient.

I taught my children from very little age to help me around the home. It is part of their daily routine to pick up after themselves. Our routines have taught my children to be responsible and accountable for their belongings. It in turn helps me because I am not overwhelmed all day with chores.

Your Next Steps in Reaching Children to be kind to their parents

Step 1: Grab our Free Printable Kindness to Parents Chart that helps children learn the simple ways to be kind.

Step 2: Get the Calm Confident Children’s Bundle that has all our tools necessary for creating a home environment that nurtures respect, positivity and confidence in both mother and child.